NOV-A-14

A VERY EVENTFUL AND WONDERFUL WEEKEND

WITH THE FLIGHT TO IOWA, AND LONG DRIVE BACK

TO DERWOOD, WHERE INTERIOR DESIGNS WERE NEARING COMPLETION IN PLANNING AND A VERY HAPPY MEETING WAS INITIATED AND FURTHER PLANS WERE ENGAGED

November 24, 2003

I ended Nov-A-13 with some concerns and resignation about unresolved issues, and some are still unresolved—but, nonetheless, there has been remarkable progress in some areas. The Audi A-4 matter is resolved and the sporty luxury vehicle has been successfully transferred to Derwood. The best part of that was the pair of ten hour day-long drives in which two people could work out some details and concerns and agree upon a course of action for the near and intermediate term future, which will require more time and progress in a transition.

Then, Virginia and Sandy Sheilor got together after Virginia’s first excited view of Derwood when we had first arrived at dusk, and she could see what it is becoming, and they made remarkable progress toward completing the interior design of the furnishings and accoutrements of the grand plan. As a final and highest point, Virginia’s parents, Robert and Beverley Croskery, came through from their alumni weekend in Yale on their way to their son Rick’s home in North Carolina for Thanksgiving, and could stop in Gaithersburg to rendezvous with Virginia and meet me in a happy celebration of a great family. In a very drowsy pre-dawn run to DCA, Virginia got to check in for her 6:30 flight before 5:00, with each of us tired but resolved to keep on communicating and trying to understand the complex issues before us with a still hurting recent past given further time for healing.

FLIGHT INTO DESMOINES AND TAKE OFF FROM INDIANOLA

My flights into Iowa were uneventful, and I did get a chance to complete the photo albums I had taken along to show Virginia. We had dinner in the Indianola Country Kitchen, and then had to discuss some very hard issues, which led to a sleepless night and a lot of effort at understanding. We got a number of chores done in the morning, packing up some of the items that would be needed for the trip and also closing out some items for Virginia’s absence. We drove to Iowa City and stopped for lunch at the Garden, a favorite spot for Virginia as she continues her thesis work there. We drove on, without Audiobooks or other distractions from more significant subjects, and made it to Cincinnati at dark.

Virginia’s parents have a large condo in a very nice place in Cincinnati overlooking a wooded area down to the river. They had a large condo and added the neighboring one, so there is a lot of room. Both Robert and Beverley each have an office and the walls are filled with pictures which were my main interest—as I took the “Roots Tour” of Virginia’s early life—a very happy and secure family life, with her siblings and including the time of her being Miss Greater Cincinnati and her marriage. I got a copy of her Mom’s book on Shamir and the Rainforest. I saw many points of the kids growing up, a number of which were balanced by another group of their kids at about the same age in a next generation. Her parents are in New haven Connecticut at a Yale Alumni Association meeting, and will intercept us later as they drive down to North Carolina where they have a condo near Greenville where their son Rick lives.

We left Cincinnati for the far more interesting and easier drive for the second day, which included Pennsylvania and West Virginia and Maryland. We stopped for gas and saw two Amish kids, brother and sister who were selling handmade baskets and one item a double decker pie basket. Virginia liked it, and them, so we got a pie basket. We drove on through the territory familiar to me, the rolling western Maryland countryside, where we had last rendezvoused at Frostburg for the college tour when Virginia brought Margeaux.

It was getting dark as we came into Gaithersburg, but Virginia had mounting excitement, and she wanted to go to see Derwood, which she had just only now seen in the photo album for the first time viewing any pictures of it. She was excited about what is happening there. After crossing the threshold, only then did it become apparent how much of my past life has been blown away and carted out in the multiple dumpsters after the demolition. The “gutting” is an irreversible commitment. But, what is now coming to be is very spectacular. She peeked into the Great Room and only later found her way around through the library into that room. But, her greatest joy was of the Breakfast Room, which is a wonderfully crafted workmanship and an extension out into the woods that changes the character of the whole house. She liked what she saw.

I ran a short distance in the morning from the Comfort Inn through King Farm, seeing white picket fenced houses in crescents looking like they had been built fifty years ago, although they were not even yet finished. One glance at the construction shows the difference in quality with the custom workmanship at Derwood. We went back to look over the area of the garden, and also to get things out of the storage that had been left there for Christmas presents. We brought down chairs from the storage, but wound up using the picnic table since it had better light and the day was mild. As soon as I walked out to the yard, five deer were present, and at the head of the group was the fourteen-point buck, so Virginia got a chance to see the deer waving white tails at her.

THE INTERIOR DESIGN SESSION WITH SANDY SHEILOR

AS ROOFERS ARRIVE, DIANE DOWNING DROPS IN,

AND VIRGINIA’S PARENTS DRIVE IN TO GAITHERSBURG

In probably the only time she has ever done a session with a client on Sunday, Sandy Sheilor came over and all the designs and patterns, fabrics for upholstery and furniture selection that Virginia had gone over and had selected with me earlier were reviewed. Sandy had done a thorough job of selection and had limited the numbers to a few pieces that would go well together. In the course of our marathon session of rapid judgments and selections, two trucks pulled up and the roofers came to start shingling the Breakfast Room and finishing the Great Room. Diane Downing came by to see what progress had been made and met both Sandy and Virginia with all their samples spread out before them. Virginia’s parents called along the way to let her know about when they were expecting to arrive. She was eager to show them Derwood, and when they had checked in, I went over to pick them up as Sandy and Virginia continued to work on the selection processes. Virginia then toured them around as I finished with Sandy.

VISIT WITH VIRGINIA’S PARENTS

Virginia and her parents went over the Photo Albums of Malawi and the Zambia Safari and had a long talk about her own misgivings and doubts, and her concerns about herself, and similarly, about me. The sage advice about what to do now was best summarized by the wise council that everything seems to be going right for her now except for her own feelings, so do nothing to disturb the progress on other fronts and to wait for the passage of time to heal some of her hurts and doubts over what had just happened in her life. Perhaps it may be these events which have caused her to spin very dramatically back and forth, despite a rational side of her which has her asking “What’s wrong with me?” I may need that too.

We had a good dinner in the Hunt Room at Clyde’s at Tower Lodge. There are an amazing number of congruencies, compatibilities and common interests and it would be fun to explore many more of them. Virginia was somewhat feverish so she was quiet, “What else could I say, with both you and my father in the same room?” But, I think she enjoyed the experience as well. Her mother is a remarkable woman and I can see about three fourths of the sources of Virginia’s strengths in her. It would be a wonderful family to keep exploring further.

And, I have done foolish things that have hurt: I have barraged Virginia with more material than she can possible read, and she feels guilty about deleting it unread. At least I have unburdened her through the elimination of her Audi car payments and made her somewhat closer to solvency in resolving the matter of her having several vehicles. There were bigger pluses than minuses in the course of this week of tumultuous feelings, which I hope, can continue to resolve on the positive side. I had written a letter to Virginia when I could not talk with her, and that might hurt more than help since we do better together than when apart, when the “drift” occurs and care decreases. So, we will try to get together on a few, but not all, of the plans already made. I am very grateful that she has taken such an interest in and active role for the renovation of Derwood, and hope she may see the fulfillment of many of these dreams and plans. For each of us: “Be careful what you wish and hope for so mightily; it may come to be!”

Return to November Index

Return to Journal Index